Today on the blog I am addressing the broad subject of love. This is such a huge topic but for this video I will only discuss the aspect of what love really is.

Many people believe that real love is about communication, connection and caring for each other but what about when the communication breaks down and the connection is faulty? Does that mean that the couple is loving at sometimes and not loving at other times?

Using an easy to understand model, I explain how the struggle develops between two people in a relationship and although we can appreciate that both have valid points, I offer a third alternative that goes beyond the two view points; the definition of best. What is the best way for human beings to come to understand each other, thereby understanding more about what real love is. What results when two people strive to live in the definition of best?

As you watch this video, what thoughts come to mind? I welcome you to share them and any questions or other comments that you may have.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

On the subject of troubled marriages, I’ve written a book scheduled for publication December 2009, called “It’s All About Power and Control; Why marriages fall apart and what it takes to put them back together again.”

I am completely convinced that people are hard wired for relationship. If this true, then why are we failing so dismally at them? I believe that there are some key things that have been overlooked as we look at this subject and at this problem. One of these key things is the lack of understanding of the power and control dynamics that go on in a relationship.

In this video I talk about my new book and the concept of men having more power than women to influence the health of the relationship. Men have more power then they realize they do and they believe that they don’t have this relational power but that women hold most of it. They make many of their decisions based on this belief.

Counseling couples in therapy, I have discovered that when this concept in understood, marriage struggles begin to turn around and couples begin to flourish in their relationships. As you watch this video, think about your own close relationships and see if you can recognize truth in what I am presenting here. Please feel free to add your comments or questions.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

In this video I talk about the challenge between the freedom of the individual to access therapeutic services online from whomever they wish to, and the issue of jurisdictional restrictions and the laws that are in place.

With the technology available today and the World Wide Web, everything is changing. New guidelines need to be developed in relation to online counseling therapy. There are a few professional organizations such as the International Society for Mental Health Online, working on developing these guidelines. You may be interested in getting involved in helping to make the changes happen.

We have our work cut out for us as professionals, but I believe this service option for online therapeutic services will be driven by the general public and the clients who wish to access therapy from whomever they choose. We need to start thinking globally.

I welcome comments and opinions on this topic. Take a look at the video.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

In the video “Child Development and Parental Influence” I talked about the atmosphere created by parents and other influences in a child’s life. In this video I talk about another aspect of that atmosphere. What happens in the event that parents separate, divorce or end the relationship and the father takes on the role of the good time daddy.

This is a difficult time for everyone in the family and a though a fathers motive may be good when he plays the good time daddy, how does it effect the children?

I talk about why some fathers feel like they must be the fun parent and how it comes about and I explain how children respond to that, as well as the negative effect that it can have on the father/child relationship. I talk about the importance of being real with your children in order to impart those skills on to them.

Parenting is not easy at the best of times but when a separation or divorce occurs it is vitally important that parenting practices are not abandoned by either parent. Remember that you are always modeling and teaching relationship with your children.

Have a look at this video and let me know what you think.

To Your Success,
Norm Quantz

Why is it so hard for victims to change? In this video blog post I talk about how a personal agenda can hold a person in victimization. We often picture our lives according to how we define ourselves. When we define ourselves with something that has to do with someone else, such as married or with children, things can get tricky and sometimes we don’t want to let go of our original ideas.

Victims have a perspective or mindset about who their most important influence or source of truth is. Some of this has to do with the expectations they had for themselves and for their life and how they have meshed that with another person. If they put themselves under the influence of someone who is controlling, then they allow that person to define their life. I give several examples of this in the video.

In this video I talk about the power you have to change and some of the things that hold you back. Victims do have a difficult time getting out of their victimization and often need to seek some professional help from a therapist in order to sort it all out and access the power they have within themselves to effect change. If this is something you struggle with, I have a global video therapy business and if you would like to talk to me, please feel free to contact me at any time through this blog or through my counseling site at Relationship-Makeover.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

When you think about parenting and the length of time it takes to accomplish the job, remember that it will take at least 16 to 18 or more years devoted to parenting as a primary role. Also remember that just one year is a long time.

I believe that every parent aspires to love their child, to be a good parent and to make a difference in the lives of their children. We have great plans about how we will raise this wonderful child and give him or her the very best chance in life.

What happens though, when a parent gets a little overwhelmed? After all, each child is an individual with their own personality their own will and ideas about how to go about life and it can be overwhelming for parents when things happen that were not part of the perfect plan. What about the mistakes we make and feelings of failure that we have as parents? Many parents worry that the formative years were not as solid as they originally envisioned. What do we do with that, and how do we correct it? What about teenagers?

This video talks about the opportunity verses the struggle when it comes to parenting. A year is a long time. Have a look at this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Aside from the fact that people experience trauma differently, generally there is also a difference in the trauma response in the ways that men respond to it, compared to the ways that women react to it.
In this video I talk about that difference. Although there are some similarities between how women and men respond, there are some distinct differences also.

Men will often try to use their sense of trauma to blame towards someone or something else for their problem. Women however, tend to personalize it and take responsibility for the trauma. They will try to fix it and easily believe it is theirs to fix.

Women react to the trauma. Men hesitate to blame themselves. Have a look at this video and I welcome you to leave your comments and feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

There is a mindset that seems evident when a therapist is open to and willing to get personal help from another psychotherapist or mental health professional.

This mindset is often revealed in the way the therapist works with clients, for instance when counseling therapists see themselves on a journey with the client towards healthiness and wellbeing or as a partner on the journey to wholeness. These psychotherapists are able to learn from clients as well as the clients learning from them.

Have a look at this short video as I talk a bit about therapists and mental health professionals seeking help. As always, I welcome feedback and comments.

With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz

On the question of Jurisdictional issues, it is absolutely important that we have an understanding of the guidelines as we go online with therapy and therapeutic practices.

Up until now jurisdictional guidelines have been concerned about regulating local area info and therapeutic services, however online counseling therapy and mental health covers the world; you can have a client anywhere the client has a computer. This brings with it many questions for mental health professionals.
In this video I review a little bit about jurisdictional issues as we continue to work towards bringing those changes to the new reality being demanded by the clients who want access to whichever therapist they choose.

Online counselling therapy is well on its way to being the way that therapy is delivered.
What do you think? Do you think that the laws should change regarding jurisdictional issues, or do you think the laws are current enough and will be able to cover the expectations regarding online therapy?

I look forward to your comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz