Today on the blog I am addressing the broad subject of love. This is such a huge topic but for this video I will only discuss the aspect of what love really is.

Many people believe that real love is about communication, connection and caring for each other but what about when the communication breaks down and the connection is faulty? Does that mean that the couple is loving at sometimes and not loving at other times?

Using an easy to understand model, I explain how the struggle develops between two people in a relationship and although we can appreciate that both have valid points, I offer a third alternative that goes beyond the two view points; the definition of best. What is the best way for human beings to come to understand each other, thereby understanding more about what real love is. What results when two people strive to live in the definition of best?

As you watch this video, what thoughts come to mind? I welcome you to share them and any questions or other comments that you may have.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

In the last video I talked about the phrase “It’s not right or wrong” and I focused on the “its not right” half of the phrase. In this video I am discussing the “its not wrong” side of the expression.

People often use this expression in an effort not to be judged or labelled as being wrong themselves. People want to come across as loving and accepting, and therefore are more comfortable not identifying wrong.

This choice makes a perfect ground for psychological abusers who manipulate situations so that they can’t be wrong. If their victim is willing to remain neutral, it makes it very easy for a psychological abuser to do the wrong thing and not get called on it.

It is important to identify some things as wrong. Take a look at this video and see what you think. I would love to have your feedback!

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video, Norm uses the example of two women friends; one of them dominates the relationship, controlling and manipulating the other woman.

Using an old fashioned and eye from his workshop, Norm illustrates a controlling relationship and talks about how one woman controlled the other and why the less powerful woman in the relationship was attracted to her controlling friend.

How can a victim open their eyes and lose the hook that the controller has in them? Watch this video and leave your comments or feedback! Looking forward to hearing from you!

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

We are still experiencing the reconstruction of our home office. Dealing with the insurance company reminded me of the struggles that often happen when parenting teenagers; the insurance company has one idea concerning what needs to happen to restore our building and I have a different idea about what needs to happen.

Teenagers also have their own ideas about how things should go and in this video I talk about how you as the parent of a teenager can help to bridge the gap between what you would like to see happen and what your teenager wants and believes should happen.

Teenagers need to know and understand the facts about certain issues. It helps a lot if you also know what they believe to be the facts. You have the perspective that can help them understand some of the consequences of their actions but they have strong opinions about what is best.

Have a look at this short video and give me some feedback about how this works for you in your family situation.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Women often find it difficult to give a report to police when there is crisis risk situation such as domestic violence going on, and they have called the police to come diffuse the situation.

The trouble is that women often believe that they are the cause of the violence and coupled with the fact that they have such a sense of trying to figure out how to protect their partner, that even when police have to be called to help, she is still protective of him. Because of these two things, she often doesn’t present the truth about what is really going on. She plays it down and neglects to include the history of violence or physical threats from him.

Men frequently will give a statement to police that the woman is the one causing the problem and because she appears to be weak in her story, they often believe the man when he claims that it isn’t him who is abusing her, but the other way around, sometimes even saying that they were trying to protect themselves from her.

In this video, I offer a couple of suggestions on how women can talk to the police with greater effect.
Have a look at the video and I welcome questions, comments and feedback.

With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video I talk about another one of the withholding strategies used by controllers, psychological abusers and manipulators; speaking nonsense and mixing up information for the purpose of withholding of wisdom and confusing the issue.

Psychological abusers, manipulators and controllers can dominate a relationship with this kind of control. This tactic is especially effective when used during an argument. When the information mix-up takes place, many words are spoken but there is no real wisdom. When using this tactic, the controlling person will jabber and jabber on without really saying anything, in order to fog the issue and make it so that the receiver of the dialogue cannot make any use of it.

The wise use of knowledge is intentionally withheld to confuse the other person so that they are unable to argue against that kind of nonsense. It causes the victim to feel as though they are a little bit out of it; not even able to understand simple conversation, but the truth is that there has not been any real content in the conversation. The point was to speak and make no actual point.

Have a look at this video and feel free to make comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz