Do you participate in your relationship the best you could, or the best you would? Over and over again I hear the statement “well I’m doing the best I can, I’ve done my best” But when I look at the facts in the relationship, it becomes obvious that these people are doing the best they would do, and not the best they could do.

Doing the best you would do means that when one person defines relationships and how they are supposed to work, they are not always open to the other persons view and are not willing to accept other information such as how relationships really function successfully. Be careful that you are not disabling the impact of your partner.

In this video I talk about this idea of doing the best you could verses doing the best you would. Relationships thrive when you jointly choose to do the best you could do in order to make the relationship the best it can be. Watch this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

Using online video therapy as the model that I use in my private practice, in this video blog post I talk about the effectiveness of online counseling therapy in the case of a client who had dissociative identity disorder.

Sometimes the dissociative clients are afraid that they won’t get help unless they are in person with the therapist but the clients that I have helped in my online conference room have found these fears to be false. There are in fact certain advantages to not being in person with the therapist.

There is a different kind of safety and comfort level present here and clients often find it easier to express themselves within it because there is no physical threat in this environment. That is one less threat to worry about.

Other added advantages of using this medium is the ability for the client to text their story or even a portion of it if it is too difficult to speak of. Drawing diagrams or pictures on the whiteboard takes the place of paper used in “in person” sessions.

I have had “in person” clients who have transferred their sessions to the online medium, and they report that the using the conference room enhances their experience of therapy. In conclusion I would have to say that in my experience, online counseling therapy for dissociative identity disorder is very effective.

I am interested in your comments regarding using an online environment for the treatment of DID.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video I talk about the insidious tactic of “playing dumb. It’s a very insidious tactic because it asks for support from the victim. This tactic falls under the category of withholding since it is about withholding intelligence from a situation. When a psychologically abusive person withholds intelligence, they actually try to act like they really don’t know anything about the subject at hand.

The victim believes that they can help provide the information, and help their partner out by contributing their own knowledge about the situation but it is a set up. The controller in the situation withholds his information and intelligence from the discussion. She ends up feeling tricked; she has been drawn into the conversation under false pretence. He withholds himself and his involvement and it produces an anxiety in the relationship.

This tactic is a very powerful manipulative tool in the guise of this pretend world of playing dumb. Have a look and let me know what you think.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz