In part two of this video series, I talk about the history of how I came to understand what was happening with clients who had developed multiple personalities and why I deal with clients the way that I do in the areas of multiple personality disorder and dissociative identity. I explain why I have come to view DID and MPD as a coping method and how the alter personalities came to exist.

As clients began to describe the nature of their alter personalities, they also talked about their childhood environment, abusive pasts and about some of their current relationships, I noticed that these alters represented different experiences for them. I started thinking that the alter personalities were the way that the client thought and lived and expressed the pressure that they were under, without revealing or exposing the real people responsible for the abuse they had suffered or were still suffering.

The clients reality became the presence of the alters and as I realized this, I simultaneously understood the nature of abuse that was imposed upon them which the client had tried to understand was somehow normal, when in fact the normalization of their lives was actually abnormal and not suitable to good mental health. Because they had to justify it somehow, they sought to distinguish differences between their real life, and the mindset they had to develop in order to cope.

Understanding psychological abuse is a great benefit in dealing with multiple personality and dissociative identity disorders. Have a look at this video as I expand on part one of this series on MPD and DID. As always I welcome comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video, Norm shares his excitement over the upcoming publication of his new book, “It’s all about Power and Control ~ why marriages fall apart and what it takes to put them back together again”. This book has been 4 years in the making and 25 years in the planning and research.

Norm talks about the history behind how this book came to be. When he began to notice patterns in the lives of most people, seeing how they seemed to repeat the same problems and have the same struggles over and over again, he started to wonder why that was. Once he completed his counseling training and began to provide counseling services, he noticed these very same problems with his clients.

He started to hear about the issue of power and how people control their lives; those two words together started his extensive study of power and control. Since he had a lot of trouble finding information as he searched he realized that there was an extreme need for a book about power and control and its dramatic effect on relationships.

Have a look at this video as Norm talks about his new book, on this special book introductory blog post. We will be posting the release dates for Norm’s new book, “It’s all About Power and Control” as soon as we have them.

The panel presented topics such as: client responses to online counseling, security issues, how to find a credible online therapist, and the accessibility to professional counseling especially for the handicapped. A live Q and A followed, even moving after the hour into an adjacent room to  address all the interactions from the participants.

Shortly, I will be commenting with some details on these subjects. If you are interested in viewing the panel presentation, it was recorded and will be posted here.

More conferences are likely in 2010 for the panel to expose to the world that Online Counseling is now available to the global community.

With You In Mind
Norm Quantz

Why is it so hard for victims to change? In this video blog post I talk about how a personal agenda can hold a person in victimization. We often picture our lives according to how we define ourselves. When we define ourselves with something that has to do with someone else, such as married or with children, things can get tricky and sometimes we don’t want to let go of our original ideas.

Victims have a perspective or mindset about who their most important influence or source of truth is. Some of this has to do with the expectations they had for themselves and for their life and how they have meshed that with another person. If they put themselves under the influence of someone who is controlling, then they allow that person to define their life. I give several examples of this in the video.

In this video I talk about the power you have to change and some of the things that hold you back. Victims do have a difficult time getting out of their victimization and often need to seek some professional help from a therapist in order to sort it all out and access the power they have within themselves to effect change. If this is something you struggle with, I have a global video therapy business and if you would like to talk to me, please feel free to contact me at any time through this blog or through my counseling site at Relationship-Makeover.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

At the beginning of August 2009 a serious hail storm hit the rural community where Norm and Neva Quantz have their home office. It was a frightening and violating experience for them. In this video, Norm talks about the trauma they experienced in the middle of the night while golf ball sized hail crashed through their sky lights bringing glass and rain with it as it bounced off the living room and office floors. The rain and hail continued to assault both the inside and outside of their home while they stood helplessly and fearfully watching and wondering when this violation would end.

Norm uses this experience to illustrate the repercussions of trauma that he sees daily in his private practice with his clients. The serious effects of sexual abuse, assault or childhood trauma, car accidents and sudden deaths are all traumatic emotional events which have lasting effects. He discusses the importance of the treatment process; of going through the details of the trauma in order to understand it, and in many cases of trauma, the importance of seeking the help of a qualified therapist in order to heal.

This video was made while the reconstruction of the roof was going on, so you will hear some of the banging and hammering. Have a look and please feel free to ask questions or comment.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

When you think about parenting and the length of time it takes to accomplish the job, remember that it will take at least 16 to 18 or more years devoted to parenting as a primary role. Also remember that just one year is a long time.

I believe that every parent aspires to love their child, to be a good parent and to make a difference in the lives of their children. We have great plans about how we will raise this wonderful child and give him or her the very best chance in life.

What happens though, when a parent gets a little overwhelmed? After all, each child is an individual with their own personality their own will and ideas about how to go about life and it can be overwhelming for parents when things happen that were not part of the perfect plan. What about the mistakes we make and feelings of failure that we have as parents? Many parents worry that the formative years were not as solid as they originally envisioned. What do we do with that, and how do we correct it? What about teenagers?

This video talks about the opportunity verses the struggle when it comes to parenting. A year is a long time. Have a look at this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video I talk about the difficulty a woman has when seeking therapeutic help from a mental health professional for issues of psychological abuse within her marriage or primary relationship. I am referring to when a person lives with the often constant undermining words, actions or attitudes of her partner, until she is emotionally exhausted, and her own sense of personal worth is in question. I give a few examples of the type of hinting that occurs and comments that are said directly that can demean and debilitate a person, leaving her feeling as though she has no value to her spouse.

Assuming a counseling therapist has been chosen that understands this type of psychological abuse and has experience with emotionally damaged people, how do you go about presenting your situation? So many women feel that they have to prove to the therapist that they have a legitimate concern; however the fact that there is frustration with trying to fix the condition of the relationship and make it work with a partner is enough reason to seek assistance from a qualified mental health professional without having to explain beyond that.

Take a look at this video and please feel free to ask questions or give feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

There is a mindset that seems evident when a therapist is open to and willing to get personal help from another psychotherapist or mental health professional.

This mindset is often revealed in the way the therapist works with clients, for instance when counseling therapists see themselves on a journey with the client towards healthiness and wellbeing or as a partner on the journey to wholeness. These psychotherapists are able to learn from clients as well as the clients learning from them.

Have a look at this short video as I talk a bit about therapists and mental health professionals seeking help. As always, I welcome feedback and comments.

With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz