In part two of this video series, I talk about the history of how I came to understand what was happening with clients who had developed multiple personalities and why I deal with clients the way that I do in the areas of multiple personality disorder and dissociative identity. I explain why I have come to view DID and MPD as a coping method and how the alter personalities came to exist.

As clients began to describe the nature of their alter personalities, they also talked about their childhood environment, abusive pasts and about some of their current relationships, I noticed that these alters represented different experiences for them. I started thinking that the alter personalities were the way that the client thought and lived and expressed the pressure that they were under, without revealing or exposing the real people responsible for the abuse they had suffered or were still suffering.

The clients reality became the presence of the alters and as I realized this, I simultaneously understood the nature of abuse that was imposed upon them which the client had tried to understand was somehow normal, when in fact the normalization of their lives was actually abnormal and not suitable to good mental health. Because they had to justify it somehow, they sought to distinguish differences between their real life, and the mindset they had to develop in order to cope.

Understanding psychological abuse is a great benefit in dealing with multiple personality and dissociative identity disorders. Have a look at this video as I expand on part one of this series on MPD and DID. As always I welcome comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Due to some of the unique issues related to working with a client who has an eating disorder, there are some really advantageous aspects of having therapy sessions online.

Many people with eating disorders have a need to be in control at all times and one of the benefits of online counseling is that they get a greater amount of control over the session in the online counseling room. Eating disordered clients have some fears about being alone in the counseling room with the therapist which requires a comfort level adjustment that is not necessary with video counseling. The online environment is easier to adjust to then the a counseling office with an in person therapist.

In this video Norm talks about some of the benefits of counseling clients with eating disorders, using his online platform. Online counseling for eating disorders is very effective.
Please have a look at this video and click below to leave your comments.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz

Have you heard people use the expression “I’m not saying it’s right or wrong”? In an effort not to be judgemental, many people choose to come from this view point, wishing to take a more neutral role in their opinion.

In this video I talk about the first half of the statement “it’s not right” and what does that phrase really mean when you say it? Is it always best to remain neutral in your opinions? Wishing to remain on the neutral side of this equation may indicate a self esteem problem.

Have a look at this thought provoking video. Next time I will talk about the wrong side of the statement “It’s not right or wrong” I look forward to hearing from you!

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

The assistance and friendship we received from family and friends both during and since our recent emergency with the hail storm has reminded me of how important it is to have good friends who support us when things get crazy. It also reminded me that not all friends or family are supportive.

There are two distinct kinds of friends. Some drain our energy and some fuel it up. In this video I talk about both types of friendships. Have a look at the video and as always I welcome comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Are you one of those people who has a passion for making a difference in society?

Sometimes when people feel strongly about a certain cause or organization, they find fulfilment in getting involved such as volunteering for a certain yearly event or serving on the board of directors. Usually when someone is passionate about a certain job, they do really well at it and often times they get asked to move up to a different position. Sometimes however, the new position isn’t exactly suited to the person being asked to do it.

In this video I talk about the difficulty that some people have in saying no and offer a new way to think about this powerful little word.

Please feel free to comment or share your own stories.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

When you think about parenting and the length of time it takes to accomplish the job, remember that it will take at least 16 to 18 or more years devoted to parenting as a primary role. Also remember that just one year is a long time.

I believe that every parent aspires to love their child, to be a good parent and to make a difference in the lives of their children. We have great plans about how we will raise this wonderful child and give him or her the very best chance in life.

What happens though, when a parent gets a little overwhelmed? After all, each child is an individual with their own personality their own will and ideas about how to go about life and it can be overwhelming for parents when things happen that were not part of the perfect plan. What about the mistakes we make and feelings of failure that we have as parents? Many parents worry that the formative years were not as solid as they originally envisioned. What do we do with that, and how do we correct it? What about teenagers?

This video talks about the opportunity verses the struggle when it comes to parenting. A year is a long time. Have a look at this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Aside from the fact that people experience trauma differently, generally there is also a difference in the trauma response in the ways that men respond to it, compared to the ways that women react to it.
In this video I talk about that difference. Although there are some similarities between how women and men respond, there are some distinct differences also.

Men will often try to use their sense of trauma to blame towards someone or something else for their problem. Women however, tend to personalize it and take responsibility for the trauma. They will try to fix it and easily believe it is theirs to fix.

Women react to the trauma. Men hesitate to blame themselves. Have a look at this video and I welcome you to leave your comments and feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Women often find it difficult to give a report to police when there is crisis risk situation such as domestic violence going on, and they have called the police to come diffuse the situation.

The trouble is that women often believe that they are the cause of the violence and coupled with the fact that they have such a sense of trying to figure out how to protect their partner, that even when police have to be called to help, she is still protective of him. Because of these two things, she often doesn’t present the truth about what is really going on. She plays it down and neglects to include the history of violence or physical threats from him.

Men frequently will give a statement to police that the woman is the one causing the problem and because she appears to be weak in her story, they often believe the man when he claims that it isn’t him who is abusing her, but the other way around, sometimes even saying that they were trying to protect themselves from her.

In this video, I offer a couple of suggestions on how women can talk to the police with greater effect.
Have a look at the video and I welcome questions, comments and feedback.

With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz

In this video I talk about the difficulty a woman has when seeking therapeutic help from a mental health professional for issues of psychological abuse within her marriage or primary relationship. I am referring to when a person lives with the often constant undermining words, actions or attitudes of her partner, until she is emotionally exhausted, and her own sense of personal worth is in question. I give a few examples of the type of hinting that occurs and comments that are said directly that can demean and debilitate a person, leaving her feeling as though she has no value to her spouse.

Assuming a counseling therapist has been chosen that understands this type of psychological abuse and has experience with emotionally damaged people, how do you go about presenting your situation? So many women feel that they have to prove to the therapist that they have a legitimate concern; however the fact that there is frustration with trying to fix the condition of the relationship and make it work with a partner is enough reason to seek assistance from a qualified mental health professional without having to explain beyond that.

Take a look at this video and please feel free to ask questions or give feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Today I am talking about the need to change the way we think and how we view our relationships, particularly in those close marriage and partnership relationships.

In the last video I spoke about a power differential that exists between men and women and how men still dominate our society as far as having more power and more final say.

Historically, it has been understood that the most powerful person in the relationship ultimately gets the last word in a relationship or decision. In this video I talk about a small change in the way we view the grid of understanding. These are just a few slightly new ways to think about the differences between how men and women operate within their relationships.

As always, I welcome your feedback and comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz