It is important to understand how control works and how it contributes to a person’s struggle inside to be one or to be whole. The alters serve the purpose of representing the personality who sought freedom or escape from the situation that was out of their control. The alter personalities also keep the person from living as one whole person. Even when a person attempts and desires to live as a whole person, they are not able to because they don’t realize how insidious the control is in their life.

This video is part three of the series, and I give an example of how the mixed messages of one aspect of control, when disguised as nice, can lead to dissociative identity and can cause a person to develop alter personalities in order to cope. When someone in your life uses the tactic of “nice”, there is an expectation that you have to be nice back. This is the kind of abusive control that plays a number on a person’s brain. It becomes difficult to attribute the nice person’s behaviour as abusive and this can lead to believing that it is really YOU that has the problem.

This type of abusive control is mind bending. Have a look at this video as I continue in this 5 part series about multiple personality disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder. I invite you to leave your comments or questions if you wish.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

If you would like to view the previous videos in the series, click here for part one, and here for part two.

In this video, Norm shares his excitement over the upcoming publication of his new book, “It’s all about Power and Control ~ why marriages fall apart and what it takes to put them back together again”. This book has been 4 years in the making and 25 years in the planning and research.

Norm talks about the history behind how this book came to be. When he began to notice patterns in the lives of most people, seeing how they seemed to repeat the same problems and have the same struggles over and over again, he started to wonder why that was. Once he completed his counseling training and began to provide counseling services, he noticed these very same problems with his clients.

He started to hear about the issue of power and how people control their lives; those two words together started his extensive study of power and control. Since he had a lot of trouble finding information as he searched he realized that there was an extreme need for a book about power and control and its dramatic effect on relationships.

Have a look at this video as Norm talks about his new book, on this special book introductory blog post. We will be posting the release dates for Norm’s new book, “It’s all About Power and Control” as soon as we have them.

When you think about parenting and the length of time it takes to accomplish the job, remember that it will take at least 16 to 18 or more years devoted to parenting as a primary role. Also remember that just one year is a long time.

I believe that every parent aspires to love their child, to be a good parent and to make a difference in the lives of their children. We have great plans about how we will raise this wonderful child and give him or her the very best chance in life.

What happens though, when a parent gets a little overwhelmed? After all, each child is an individual with their own personality their own will and ideas about how to go about life and it can be overwhelming for parents when things happen that were not part of the perfect plan. What about the mistakes we make and feelings of failure that we have as parents? Many parents worry that the formative years were not as solid as they originally envisioned. What do we do with that, and how do we correct it? What about teenagers?

This video talks about the opportunity verses the struggle when it comes to parenting. A year is a long time. Have a look at this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

There is a tactic used by psychological abusive people that involves restricting the activities or actions of somebody else. Restricting activities actually attempts to control the boundaries that the spouse operates within.

The psychologically abusive person uses this strategy of withholding in order to restrict an activity that might cause them to feel as though they are losing control. They may be suspicious of the people or the activity the spouse is engaged in, fearing the influence of certain people and organizations. Therefore they restrict their partner from participating in what has been decided is not the right groups or friendships.
This like trying to train a spouse as you would train a young child; as though the spouse cannot make up her own mind about who to see or what groups to be involved in. It is of course necessary to place restrictions and boundaries on young children but in the case of restricting activity of your partner, the restrictor believes he knows what is best for her, and he justifies his restrictions as legitimate even believing that it is for her own good if he keeps her from having contact with certain people.

There are different reasons that people place restrictions on each other. Not all of them are wrong and I give an example in this video of one such time when a woman asks her husband not to flirt with a certain woman at a party. This request is about how it makes her feel when he does that and is not about her controlling his behaviour.

Have a look at this video about using the abuse tactic of restricting the activity of another and as always I welcome feedback and comments.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

There is a mindset that seems evident when a therapist is open to and willing to get personal help from another psychotherapist or mental health professional.

This mindset is often revealed in the way the therapist works with clients, for instance when counseling therapists see themselves on a journey with the client towards healthiness and wellbeing or as a partner on the journey to wholeness. These psychotherapists are able to learn from clients as well as the clients learning from them.

Have a look at this short video as I talk a bit about therapists and mental health professionals seeking help. As always, I welcome feedback and comments.

With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz

What is the difference between a job and a passion when it comes to an effective and happy therapist? Some therapists have lost their vision; they have lost sight of the reason they got into the mental health profession in the first place.

There are many reasons that people choose this profession as a counseling therapist, but sometimes it loses its passion, and becomes just a job.

In this video I talk about some of my observations of other counseling therapists and mental health professionals in relation to their passion for the work, as we work together and socialize at training and networking events.

Please leave your comments and feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Social justice is the natural outcome when people accept personal responsibility for their own choices and actions. This in turn affects the family, community, the State, and all of society.

What exactly is personal responsibility in relation to the quality of healthy society?

In this short video I discuss the effect that taking personal responsibility has on social justice and its eventual ripple effect on the world.

As always I welcome your feedback, questions or comments.

With You in Mind
Norm Quantz