At the beginning of August 2009 a serious hail storm hit the rural community where Norm and Neva Quantz have their home office. It was a frightening and violating experience for them. In this video, Norm talks about the trauma they experienced in the middle of the night while golf ball sized hail crashed through their sky lights bringing glass and rain with it as it bounced off the living room and office floors. The rain and hail continued to assault both the inside and outside of their home while they stood helplessly and fearfully watching and wondering when this violation would end.

Norm uses this experience to illustrate the repercussions of trauma that he sees daily in his private practice with his clients. The serious effects of sexual abuse, assault or childhood trauma, car accidents and sudden deaths are all traumatic emotional events which have lasting effects. He discusses the importance of the treatment process; of going through the details of the trauma in order to understand it, and in many cases of trauma, the importance of seeking the help of a qualified therapist in order to heal.

This video was made while the reconstruction of the roof was going on, so you will hear some of the banging and hammering. Have a look and please feel free to ask questions or comment.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

Very often the solution for dealing with life and conflict is thought to be about staying positive, being happy and upbeat or simply maintaining positive thinking.

I believe that just putting conflict aside and avoiding conflict, that itself is often an escape mechanism. When you put conflict aside you reduce the opportunity for personal growth. There is a reason there is conflict present; find out what that reason is. Conflict is present because there is not an alignment of thoughts, belief or understanding that is the same.

Working through conflict is about being able to gain perspective and understanding that is more comprehensive than just your own alone can be. If you lighten everything up with positive thinking alone, and delay facing the conflict itself, you will never drill down to the place where you can really understand the situation. Soon the situation has escalated to the point where you have delayed dealing with it and the conflict is facing you head on and is so overwhelming that you can’t escape any longer and health and even life may be at stake.

Determine what you can do about it, look at different perspectives making some evaluations rather than just coping by pacifying it with positive thoughts and ideas. Find out the reason for the conflict, and when you have that understanding, make decisions for action that will lead to change which will lead to freedom and happiness as you pursue better solutions.

Take a look at this video and then post your comments or questions.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

The subject of dissociation and dissociative identity disorder in terms of how people cope with life is quite broad and often misunderstood by general public.In this video I describe how dissociation might begin, how it becomes a necessary escape and how it becomes a hindrance to personal growth.

Dissociation is used to cope with the pressure going on in life when it is too painful to accept the reality of what is going on in life and dissociation becomes an option people use to escape. The danger is when that escape becomes a way of life. When dissociating starts to take over a person’s life; when they live more in the dissociative time rather than in real time, that becomes a problem. The dissociative self starts to control how they respond to the world around them and they get confused as to whether it is the real person responding to it or if it is the dissociative self responding to it. It gets to the point that they live in the other persons world, as another entity.
When people who used the coping method of dissociation, or have dissociative identity disorder are able to realize the way that it started, how necessary that it has been for their survival, and how it became a way of life, it is much easier for them to go back to that foundation and re-establish it differently.

Understanding the dissociation that is occurring at the moment and where it has its origin, enables them to eventually realize that they don’t have to live in that coping method but that they can live in the reality of the moment and move from coping to conquering, owning their own power and living whole and free.

I would love to read your comments and feedback regarding the information in this video.

With You in Mind,
Norm

In previous videos, I’ve been talking about coping methods and moving from coping to conquering. In this video I talk about anxiety as a coping method. When it becomes evident that something is going on, but often times it isn’t obvious enough for a person to know what it is.

Anxiety can show itself outwardly in reactions, physical activity, agitation, barking back, and other times it is very inward and personal, a private world within, while appearing on the outside as calm, happy and bubbly.

How do you move from coping by using anxiety, to conquering? Take a look at this video as I go deeper into the issue of coping via anxiety. I often find that anxiety is a reaction to some manipulation or pressure the person feels. It is a way that they are counteracting not being valued. Anxiety is often the reactive coping method that they are using to handle the stresses that are coming their way.

I’m interested in your comments, questions and feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm

Addictions can be described as a habit that has become detrimental to a person’s life. There can be an emotional or physiological addiction or a combination of those two. An addiction is something that is causing interference with healthy living and enjoying life and is now in control of the person.

It is confusing when a person realizes they have lost control but can’t understand why. Why you can’t seem to stop? Looking at the issue of what you are stopping or what you need your addiction for, might give you some insight. Is it the physiological craving, or is it when you are in an awkward moment, or feel uncomfortable that you get a craving to numb your feelings?

Often with addiction, the addiction becomes the coping method. In this video I talk about an addiction being a substitute for one’s own personal intentional control. We need to look at the reason you need to use a coping method in the first place. Looking at the cause might help you to take a better approach to the addiction.

Please feel free to add your questions, comments or feedback.

With You in Mind,
Norm

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