When children, teens or even adults Dabble with the Dark Side, it is often their reaction to their loss of power in their current life situation. The appeal is for them to be in charge of something. They may show this tendency in their gaming choices, their internet interests, or their choice of friends and the topics they discuss.

I point out how hormonal stimulation of endorphins and adrenalin happens when the risky nature of this dabbling makes them feel alive. It could be an indicator of suicidal ideas. It is in this deep struggle where they are trying to find some sense of personal value or the proof they have none. Don’t let it pass by your attention if you know of someone who is Dabbling with the Dark Side.

With You In Mind
Norm

Kids absorb the stress within family relationships. In this video, relationship expert Norm Quantz briefly touches on 3 principles that parents can live by to help DEstress their children. Consistency, even though it is not perfect, can keep children from the anxiety of constantly preparing themselves for the inconsistencies lived and taught by conflicted parents.

Clarity is the goal of communicating and very important with kids since they are not the ones best suited or most responsible for understanding an issue. Concern is the empathic attention that parents give to their children as parents and adults act in their best interest. These three components that create a healthier emotional and mental atmosphere are important for DEstressing children.

Children are like sponges soaking up the atmosphere around them and they especially soak it up from the most powerful influence in their lives.

Drawing from his experiences working within the school system where he spent several years developing counseling programs and working with some of the most difficult children within that system, Norm talks about children and some of these influences.

Norm gives an example of how children carry this atmosphere and how we actually recognize this atmosphere in them without realizing it. He talks about some of the ways that children respond to their environment and why.

Parents and parenting styles have the biggest influence on a child’s atmosphere and how parents relate to each other will have a big effect on the way the child absorbs his or her atmosphere.

Here are a few things to consider as you listen to the video; in your family, which parent has the most power to define that atmosphere? What is the atmosphere you are creating that your children are soaking up as you raise them and try to influence their healthy character development?

In the next video we continue with the focus on children and parenting. Norm will expand on the concept of powerful influences in the lives of children.

With You in Mind..

Very often the solution for dealing with life and conflict is thought to be about staying positive, being happy and upbeat or simply maintaining positive thinking.

I believe that just putting conflict aside and avoiding conflict, that itself is often an escape mechanism. When you put conflict aside you reduce the opportunity for personal growth. There is a reason there is conflict present; find out what that reason is. Conflict is present because there is not an alignment of thoughts, belief or understanding that is the same.

Working through conflict is about being able to gain perspective and understanding that is more comprehensive than just your own alone can be. If you lighten everything up with positive thinking alone, and delay facing the conflict itself, you will never drill down to the place where you can really understand the situation. Soon the situation has escalated to the point where you have delayed dealing with it and the conflict is facing you head on and is so overwhelming that you can’t escape any longer and health and even life may be at stake.

Determine what you can do about it, look at different perspectives making some evaluations rather than just coping by pacifying it with positive thoughts and ideas. Find out the reason for the conflict, and when you have that understanding, make decisions for action that will lead to change which will lead to freedom and happiness as you pursue better solutions.

Take a look at this video and then post your comments or questions.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz