Responding too quickly or not at all to what teens do and say gives them the wrong message. Let them ponder their thoughts out loud so they can hear themselves think. This will allow them the opportunity to form an opinion about their own thoughts just like they do with all the other thoughts around them. I explain how this creates connections with them and contributes to developing them into responsible citizens.

When children, teens or even adults Dabble with the Dark Side, it is often their reaction to their loss of power in their current life situation. The appeal is for them to be in charge of something. They may show this tendency in their gaming choices, their internet interests, or their choice of friends and the topics they discuss.

I point out how hormonal stimulation of endorphins and adrenalin happens when the risky nature of this dabbling makes them feel alive. It could be an indicator of suicidal ideas. It is in this deep struggle where they are trying to find some sense of personal value or the proof they have none. Don’t let it pass by your attention if you know of someone who is Dabbling with the Dark Side.

With You In Mind
Norm

Kids absorb the stress within family relationships. In this video, relationship expert Norm Quantz briefly touches on 3 principles that parents can live by to help DEstress their children. Consistency, even though it is not perfect, can keep children from the anxiety of constantly preparing themselves for the inconsistencies lived and taught by conflicted parents.

Clarity is the goal of communicating and very important with kids since they are not the ones best suited or most responsible for understanding an issue. Concern is the empathic attention that parents give to their children as parents and adults act in their best interest. These three components that create a healthier emotional and mental atmosphere are important for DEstressing children.

In the video “Child Development and Parental Influence” I talked about the atmosphere created by parents and other influences in a child’s life. In this video I talk about another aspect of that atmosphere. What happens in the event that parents separate, divorce or end the relationship and the father takes on the role of the good time daddy.

This is a difficult time for everyone in the family and a though a fathers motive may be good when he plays the good time daddy, how does it effect the children?

I talk about why some fathers feel like they must be the fun parent and how it comes about and I explain how children respond to that, as well as the negative effect that it can have on the father/child relationship. I talk about the importance of being real with your children in order to impart those skills on to them.

Parenting is not easy at the best of times but when a separation or divorce occurs it is vitally important that parenting practices are not abandoned by either parent. Remember that you are always modeling and teaching relationship with your children.

Have a look at this video and let me know what you think.

To Your Success,
Norm Quantz

In this video, Norm expands on the previous video about how children absorb the atmosphere around them and he goes into more detail about the concept of powerful influences.

Children mimic the things that most powerfully influence them so there is a tendency with children to try to get close to and replicate the person or people in their lives who have the most power. Think about how children imitate other children or their favourite TV hero and you will notice how kids tend to imitate the ones they feel hold the power.

In the case of the child’s parents and their influence, Norm gives an example of a mother who is snappy with the father, verses the father who brushes off his wife and ignores her wishes and he explains why the action of the father has more impact on the child then the actions of the mother.

He goes on to explain the effects and influence of the people who care for the child the most which also holds a lot of power and helps a child to define their value. Sometimes the person who holds the most power in this area is not a parent but a grandparent or other significant elder.

These are two very different examples of how people exert power in a child’s life and how the child absorbs this influence. Take a look at the video as Norm relates some of his discoveries through his years of counseling with children and parents and please feel free to add your comments or questions.

With You in Mind

Children are like sponges soaking up the atmosphere around them and they especially soak it up from the most powerful influence in their lives.

Drawing from his experiences working within the school system where he spent several years developing counseling programs and working with some of the most difficult children within that system, Norm talks about children and some of these influences.

Norm gives an example of how children carry this atmosphere and how we actually recognize this atmosphere in them without realizing it. He talks about some of the ways that children respond to their environment and why.

Parents and parenting styles have the biggest influence on a child’s atmosphere and how parents relate to each other will have a big effect on the way the child absorbs his or her atmosphere.

Here are a few things to consider as you listen to the video; in your family, which parent has the most power to define that atmosphere? What is the atmosphere you are creating that your children are soaking up as you raise them and try to influence their healthy character development?

In the next video we continue with the focus on children and parenting. Norm will expand on the concept of powerful influences in the lives of children.

With You in Mind..

We are still experiencing the reconstruction of our home office. Dealing with the insurance company reminded me of the struggles that often happen when parenting teenagers; the insurance company has one idea concerning what needs to happen to restore our building and I have a different idea about what needs to happen.

Teenagers also have their own ideas about how things should go and in this video I talk about how you as the parent of a teenager can help to bridge the gap between what you would like to see happen and what your teenager wants and believes should happen.

Teenagers need to know and understand the facts about certain issues. It helps a lot if you also know what they believe to be the facts. You have the perspective that can help them understand some of the consequences of their actions but they have strong opinions about what is best.

Have a look at this short video and give me some feedback about how this works for you in your family situation.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz

When you think about parenting and the length of time it takes to accomplish the job, remember that it will take at least 16 to 18 or more years devoted to parenting as a primary role. Also remember that just one year is a long time.

I believe that every parent aspires to love their child, to be a good parent and to make a difference in the lives of their children. We have great plans about how we will raise this wonderful child and give him or her the very best chance in life.

What happens though, when a parent gets a little overwhelmed? After all, each child is an individual with their own personality their own will and ideas about how to go about life and it can be overwhelming for parents when things happen that were not part of the perfect plan. What about the mistakes we make and feelings of failure that we have as parents? Many parents worry that the formative years were not as solid as they originally envisioned. What do we do with that, and how do we correct it? What about teenagers?

This video talks about the opportunity verses the struggle when it comes to parenting. A year is a long time. Have a look at this video blog post and let me know your thoughts.

With You in Mind,
Norm Quantz