Using the concept that the truth will set you free needs some clarification. What does truth mean? There are things that are true for example, it’s true you beat up your brother (if in fact you did). The truth of the matter is your brother was beat up by you.

The pursuit of true truth, often abbreviated by saying “pursue the truth”, is to live in a way that pursues the best of the best. In another video I refered to this as the ‘C’ part of the ABC of Life. What you did to your brother may not have been the best of the best ways of dealing with the issues between you. There could be better ways to resolve your differences.

It’s important that you defend yourself from being abused. But learn better ways to interact with others and society will be better because of you.

With You in Mind,

Norm

You have already developed the ability to evaluate someone else’s life. You see their life in action. You see what you can accomplish. Professionals such as therapists see the benefit of their insights in the life of others. But we often don’t know ourselves well enough to change the things that are destroying our lives.

Journaling allows us to put our thoughts and beliefs on paper or on our computer so we can utilize that skill of evaluating something out there. Then we can pick up what we want to keep and let the wind blow the rest away.

With You in Mind
Norm

It is important in life to learn how to focus. Whether it’s a 6 month old learning to focus on a toy or a teen learning to focus on studying for a final exam, the benefits of this character quality will last a lifetime. Focusing only on one thing at the exclusion of other important matters such as relationships is not beneficial overall, but the learned ability to pursue knowledge and understanding can bring a lifetime of joy.

I illustrate how focusing on important details in a traumatic accident, rather than avoiding this knowledge, can help bring freedom from unfounded guilt.

With You in Mind
Norm
]]> http://www.normquantz.com/2010/07/what-can-focus-do/feed/ 0 http://www.normquantz.com/2010/07/the-a-b-c-of-life/ http://www.normquantz.com/2010/07/the-a-b-c-of-life/#comments Fri, 16 Jul 2010 19:20:53 +0000 Norm http://www.normquantz.com/?p=768

A simple concept helps to redirect the focus within a struggling relationship. If ‘A’ is you and ‘B’ is someone else, then ‘C’ is the best of the best of what anyone can be. ‘C’ is the ideal character for anyone to live. It’s the way we were designed to be.

In this video I describe the benefits of how each person’s pursuit of ‘C’ will help bring the relationship of ‘A’ and ‘B’ together instead of the typical power struggle to dominate and control each other.

With You in Mind
Norm

When you shut down in a relationship there are ripple effects for others. For example, they are left to guess what you are thinking. You experience a ripple effect as well such as keeping things inside you results in reactions to reactions that often spin you into a hole that drains your energy. This video encourages you to talk about what is inside you. This gives clarity of what you are thinking and helps you to gauge what self correction you need to make.

With You in Mind,
Norm

I find an increased intake for counseling leading up to holiday seasons such as summer vacation, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. This relates primarily to the added stresses of those season, mainly related to angst over meeting relatives or having to spend more time with a spouse.

Stress comes when a situation goes beyond normal abilities to cope. I describe a few response options to short term and long term stress.

With You In Mind,
Norm

Many people who put great effort into improving their life and relationships are not recognized for their honest efforts. Reading books, taking seminars, seeking counselling, etc. give evidence of the great amount of energy expended to get healthy. I share my thoughts in this video for the ones who are truly trying to improve. It’s an honour to know you!

With You in Mind,
Norm

You maybe don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But is that best?

I talk in this video blog about how little you have control over whether someone’s feelings are hurt or not. It has a lot to do with the different ways of thinking between you and that other person. What is important is for you to pursue healthiness and as you do that your thoughts, actions and feelings will help move others toward wholeness. If their feelings are hurt from that, it is their issue.

Remember, it is not popular to live healthy. So expect resistance along the way. Resistance to changing for the good often comes in that subtle “you hurt my feelings” response.

With You in Mind
Norm

Have you felt that “he’s driving me crazy?” I address that issue showing how you may be trying to weave very thin threads of truth that the controller gives you and you’re attempting to make a tapestry out of such meagre points. It doesn’t work. Victims try to believe their controller, but conflicted thinking isn’t true thinking. Developing your own understanding of the truth is important for improving your life.

To gain a context for understanding this video, first view the previous 3 about double mindedness and conflicted thinkers.

Part 1 – Multi-Tasking, Congruity and Double Mindedness
Part 2 – Why Controllers Develop Double Minded Thinking
Part 3 – Straw Thinking

With You in Mind,
Norm

Clients have often asked me to explain why their spouse, the controller, gets so focused on such trivial issues. It is because of what I call “Straw Thinking”. When the controller is so focused on such a narrow issue as though they have to make it their own “Custard’s Last Stand”, they lose track of what is important. They trade away a healthy mindset for a stroke of their ego. In this video, I describe how Straw Thinking is not productive in bringing about healthiness in a relationship.

With You in Mind,
Norm