Emotional Buffer Zones
Everyone has one. We emotionally fill that buffer zone up when we are unable to keep our emotional load in balance. One of the things that can happen when we go beyond a full buffer zone is a rapid descent into chaos, distress, exhaustion, and emotional troubles. This can lead to anxiety attacks, depression, etc. Look at these three emotional places: Normal balanced range – where you are making decisions for change, living life from on top, handling life as it is. Buffer Zone – your life is stretched beyond what you want. You know you...
read moreDivorce May Not Be Your Only Option, But If It Is, There Are Familiar Patterns To A Breakup
Is Your Marriage Falling Apart? If it is, is divorce your only option? Before that happens consider the Power and Control dynamics at work in your marriage. It has helped many couples get to the root of the conflicts. You are at the point you must do something to turn that slide to divorce around, to build a healthy, wholesome relationship, one that you really like. I know that you have tried hard. You have been the best you that you can be in that relationship. You cringe at the thought of the Big D. This divorce word that has...
read moreThe Winston – Neville Factor: Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words
When Trying To Identify An Abuser Look At Their Actions Compared To Their Words. Neville Chamberlain emphasized TALKING. He was the negotiator. From his agreements with Hitler, he declared “Peace in our Time”. Hitler used Neville’s willingness to negotiate to advance his conquest of Europe towards his goal of world domination – actually to become the “Messiah” that reigns for a 1000 years. Winston Churchill emphasized ACTION. He believed in words matching action and tried for years to warn the British and Europe of the...
read moreDon’t Shoot The Messenger
Here are two wrongs I want to correct. First, you may be told by your abuser and his family and friends that if you report the abuse you will cause the breakup of the family. I want you to know, that is a most twisted concept. You are the messenger reporting the one that caused it. The results are to be laid solely on the abuser and those that coddle that type of behaviour. Secondly, you may feel that you are bad because reporting abuse must mean you are vindictive and you only want to be good. You need to learn how to be angry at what...
read morePreparing to Report Abuse
When you have found the courage to tell your sexual abuse story to the police here are a couple things you may find helpful. Make an appointment to Report. This will allow the corporal to designate a seasoned officer with this speciality to take your report. It will also mean one less thing to worry about when you enter the detachment because they will be expecting you. You won’t have to awkwardly explain it to the front clerk. The transition will be smoother between walking in and being interviewed. Write out your experience. Write...
read moreChristmas Greetings
Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas! With You In Mind, Norm
read moreCourage to Report Sexual Abuse
Yes, it takes courage to report abuse that has or is happening to you. I trust this will help you garner the courage to do it. It’s important to report but you may not feel ready. Your hesitancy may be in part because you heard reports of bad experiences such as those that were not believed. Police are trained now to know how to investigate sexual abuse cases. The stories many say are the reasons to not report are from years ago when police were not trained to know how to investigate sexual abuse cases. The police now have...
read moreSexual Abusers Hide In Plain Sight
That’s Why “In-House” Investigations Go Nowhere Trying to expose a sexual abuser is a rocky road. Why? Because they have honed and crafted their deception so well that they can hide their habit right under the nose of those that would, if they knew, take action to protect the victims. Some Questions from Victims are: So How Do Sexual Abusers Hide and Get Away with It? and, What Can We Do To Expose Them so it will stop? For victims the Top Priority is not usually exposure of the abuser. It is “How can we be assured the...
read moreThe Grain Bends to the Will of the Wind
I love it in the fall. The grain is ripening. The wind is blowing and the grain bends to the will of the wind. This is the analogy of how our power affects other individuals. A shear wind will break the grain to the ground making it difficult to harvest. Or the wind blows through the standing grain. The power we have is so important to be in harmony with what the grain needs. The grain welcomes that kind of wind because the wind is so in tune with the grain. When we use our power for good, people welcome and enjoy our presence because...
read moreSteps To Move Your Relationship Forward
Particularly If You Have A NH-AWS Relationship This video considers the importance of Power and Control dynamics in your close relationships such as your marriage. Then I introduce you to a new Syndrome I have called the NH-AWS, the Nice Husband-Anxious Wife Syndrome and explain how that may be affecting the health of your relationship. And finally I outline some steps to move you forward from what your marriage is now to what you want it to be. When you said your vows, you didn’t mean you would tolerate being abused. But now you...
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