There are many kind people who are compassionate and want to help and be kind. Sometimes however, people go beyond common sense in an attempt to do what is kind. Too much kindness in an interfering way becomes a control factor.
In this video I use the example of a parent with a 5 year old child. This parent goes to the extremes of hand feeding and even helping the child drink from a cup, believing that this demonstrates love. In this case the kindness actually interferes with personal growth and responsibility taking the child needs to learn. This child is not experiencing the value of accomplishing something on her own and gaining the important sense of self esteem and personal independence.
In this case, the mother has become the controller and child learns to be dependent on the parent. This lays the foundation for someone else to take advantage of the child, increasing vulnerability to another person dominating and controlling her and makes the child vulnerable for abuse. This foundation is not limited to childhood.
It is important that there is a balance between kindness and common sense. Have a look at this video and let me know your thoughts.
With you in Mind,
Norm Quantz
